6 days to 6 years...

I don't really blog too often, meaning I don't have too many "followers", meaning I can just put it out all there knowing a zillion people aren't knowing my struggles...which today is one of those days...I'm struggling.
Not only is the 6 year anniversary of my mother's death creeping up, but a friend's mother passed away yesterday, and his story rang so similarly as mine...and it just elevated the already present memories flooding the fore-front of my mind. Every year, starting on this day, my brain just goes directly to "what I was doing "x" years ago on this day" (this "x" being 6). It's kinda annoying and morbid...but I honestly can't even help it. And as I pondered all of this today, I was overcome with the severest emotion that it had been six years...and, honestly, I do really good to be thankful for what has come from her death and try to be strong and stand tall and not talk about it...but not today. Call it a pity party, I don't really care, or whatever you like, but I'm having one.
And I just began weeping, or sobbing...the uglycantcatchmybreathsnoteverywhere cry. Awesome.
*sigh*
Mom...
6 years...
Since we spoke, hugged, laughed, cried.
6 years...
Without an argument, your momma prayers, your motherly advice, a ma-maw for my boys.
6 years...
Of having you to encourage me, pick me up and dust me off when I feel like I'm failing as a wife and mother.
6 years...
Of not having the luxury of picking up the phone and asking you about a childhood memory, what did you do, did I do that as a child, what did you put in that salad.
6 years...
Of healing and feeling stronger and then having a day like this when thoughts of how much I miss you takes my breath away. I can't breathe...

And ironically, I can't breathe because my love for her has grown even more than I ever imagined. I thought..."do I love her more in death than I did in life?" Which made me think of my Savior and how much the death on Earth of His son changed the meaning of my life. And just like that, my heart moves from pity party to thankfulness. And that's it. The tears quit watering my eyes and I have a "new song in my heart"...for today anyway. Or the week. Or maybe the minute. One step at a time...

And this year, instead of wallowing and feeling sorry for myself on May 5th I'm going to do a 5k with my hubby and oldest son. And not just any 5k, but it benefits child abuse and mom was abused as a child...and I think she would be proud of us for doing this for her. I wish she was going to be on the sidelines cheering us on...but she won't, and I'm ok with that.

And maybe this year I'll even try and enjoy Mother's Day. Maybe. ;)


Isn't she just so beautiful...

Love Jars

LOVED the idea Becky Dietz shared the other day of her friends blog for Valentines and I decided to do a modified version mixed with some ideas from another blogger and myself. I made the boys "love jars". They have little coupons in the brown envelopes (movie night, date with mom, etc) and in the jars are things we have written that we love about them. Mine are written on pink and Derek's are written on red and they will draw a red and a pink out each morning or at dinner...haven't decided yet. So they will get two uplifting words everyday!
Makes me want to be more intentional everyday, to tell them at least one thing I love about them everyday. I would like to think I do already, but sometimes the days are so busy and they zoom by, I'm not sure I havent missed some days here and there. Anywho, I hope this will be something they cherish and look forward to each year!
Here is the final product:

New year brings new...stuff!!

Being a stay at home mom has many, many rewards and, frankly, I LOVE the rewards! Now that both of my boys are in school, well, I have really been wanting to fill up some of my free time and provide a little extra money for my family. But, I knew getting a "real" job would take away so many of the freedoms that we have become accustom to. I started looking into selling jewelry and really thought that would be the avenue I would take. And I was excited about it! Shortly after I had begun to research different jewelry companies I rec'd an email from a friend who had a friend that was looking for people to add to her team selling a skin care line. At first, I thought no way, never heard of it, not fun, not interested at all! But decided to do a little research just for the heck of it. I couldn't stop thinking about it and so I asked Derek what he thought. If you know my husband, you know he is a go-getter, encourager, let's do this kinda guy...but he is absolutely not spontaneous! Anywho...I'll cut to the chase...two months later after lots of questions, lots of prayer, lots of everything we made the decision to go for it! I am a consultant for Rodan + Fields. This is totally out of comfort zone, but it's a challenge and I love a challenge. I'm nervous and I'm excited. If you are reading this and you pray...I need them!! I'm sure you will be seeing and hearing A LOT more about this (and if you have any questions, just let me know)!!! It's gonna be interesting and exciting year, and I can't wait to get it going!!
Here is a link to check it out if you want: http://esherman.myrandf.com/

Snow, snow, snow!!

It is snowing like crazy today! Finally starting to feel like winter! This was from 1230-5 this afternoon and it is still snowing!! I think we will hibernate tonight!!
BTW....I just found out there is a blogger app, so I can blog from my phone now! So much more convenient! I can't promise I will become a new improved, awesome blogger...but, we'll see!!!

12x12 Paper, Embellishments, etc. for sale

Acrylic stamps for sale here...

Rubber stamps and punches for sale here...

Mini albums and alphas for sale here...

Below are embellies, stickers, etc.. They are in lots and I have listed what is new and used. A few of the items have the top of the package cut off to fit in my storage, but they still may be unused if noted. If you have any questions please let me know. All offers will be considered and lots can be seperated if you are really wanting just one of something listed, but I would like to sell them as is if possible. Thanks!!

(All prices below are BEFORE shipping!  Shipping cost is NOT included)

4 sheets SC, 1 sheet Hambly, 1 Hambly transparency (below), $1.50

4 KI lasercut papers, $3

5 KI lasercut papers, $4

10 die-cut sheets, $3

"girly" paper lot, 8 sheets, $1

Sass paper, 11 sheets, $2

MME paper pack, used (5 or 6 sheets missing), $5

Buttons, $1 a bag

(blue,only brown left, green, yellow, pink)

Halloween stickers, $.50

HS chipboard letters, $2 new

Jounaling tags: about 40 shipping labels (the white tags were bought at an antique store and are a little discolored and they are made of vinyl or something), about 20 MR sheers, about 20 misc journaling cards.

$1 for each bag--SOLD

Misc embellies: Foam arrows, plastic hearts, chipboard stars, foam punctuation, felt butterflies, $1 a bag

Bag of prima flowers, $2--Sold!!!

Large lot of pink and white baker's twine (not sure the exact amount, I split a giant spool with two other ladies...approx 80 yards) $3

Misc trims, Noteworthy trim used, others new, $4 for all--sale pending

 1 OA and 4 Sass cardstock stickers, new, $4

2 Doodlebug buttons, bag of buttons from Studio Calico, new $4 SOLD!!!

Chipboard buttons, Martha Stewart, Graphic 45 & Jenni Bowlin, all new $3

Studio Calico Bag of buttons, MME trims, BG glazed brads, BG decorative stickers, all new $5--sale pending!!

Dear Lizzy rubon-ons, crochet and paper flowers, brads and flair, all new, $9

AC brads, new, $3--sold!!

Misc flowers, all new (tops of some of the packages are cut off, but they are still unused), $7--Sold!!!!!

Elsie (1 used, 1 new) and KI (used) Softies and AC flair (used) and Details (new), $5 

Sass stickers (one missing) and paper whimsies (one used, one new), $3

AC chipboard, new $2

BG Chip stickers Junebug and Wassail, new, $9--sale pending on Wassail

Misc=OA rubons (new), SEI (new) and MM (new) stickers, CC (new) and KI (used) spinners, $6

Daisy D's, Piggy Tales, AC and SEI sticker and die cut labels, all new $6

MS sticker labels (new) and Heidi Swapp paper labels (used, but still a ton of each), $5 sold!!!

Bling, (top 3 are missing a few, all others new), $10 SOLD!!

MM paper (black in box, new...brown in bag that came with a kit, not sure how many they put in there) and metal butterflies (new), JB butterflies (new), $6--SOLD!!!!!

SR file mattes (new) and 2 JB Bingo cards, $1

PP Queen bee (new), $3

7G stickers, K&Co paper trims, DDs book plates, all new, $4

Smash big and little pockets and pad, new, $6--Sold!!

"Kitchen" lot, 3 sheets paper, one die-cut label sheet, sticker sheet, border sheets and 2 pkgs felt embell, new, $6--sale pending

 2 CosmoCricket stickers, 2 Crate border stickers (one used) and KI glitter border stickers, $4.50--sale pending 

albums and alphas

Acrylic Stamps for Sale here...

Rubber Stamps and punches for Sale here...

Below are mini albums and alphas.  The alphas are in lots and I have listed what is new and used.  Some of the alphas have the top of the package cut off to fit in my storage, but they still may be unused.  If you have any questions please let me know.  All offers will be considered and lots can be seperated if you are really wanting just one of something listed, but I would like to sell them as is if possible.  Thanks!!

(All prices below are BEFORE shipping! Shipping cost is NOT included)

Acrylic mini album, $1

CC blackboard mini album, $3

Crayola car mini album, $1

Creative Cafe mini album, $4

Melissa Francis mini album, $2

Creative Cafe mini album, chipboard, $1

Maya Road mini chipboard album, $1

Giant alterable clothes pin, $3

Pink Paislee alphas, green and brown new, others used, $3

CC x2, BG and Scrap w/in Reach alphas, all new, $7--SOLD!!!

Doodlebug x2 (dk blue used), AC, Prima (one missing) and misc alphas, new unless stated, $4

BG, SR, BB alphas/#'s, all new, $5

(back side of BoBunny pack below)SOLD!!!

MM glitter, MM flocked, PP and K&Co alphas, all new, $5--SOLD!!!!

MM tiny alphas, all new, $3--Sold

 

Thickers, Prima, The Girls Paperie and CI (one B missing), all others new, $5--SOLD!!!

Thickers, 2 white glitter new, all others used (colors are hot pink-glitter letters, purple glitter and turquioise glitter.  Only one missing from purple and hot pink letters), $6